Evening the Odds
by Dae Yuy
Summary: A duringafter war 2x1 get together fic! Please read and review!


Title: Evening the Odds 

Author: Dae Yuy

Disclaimer: Really not mine.

Rating: PG-13 for innuendo, adult content and Duo's potty mouth.

Warnings: reference to past child abuse, yaoi, cursing, small role OC

Pairings: 1+2+1, 2x1

Spoilers: a few minor ones, mostly Endless Waltz and Episode Zero

Author's Notes: First major plunge back into the GW fandom. I like this fic but it may seem kind of weird and I'm not really sure how original it is, the idea of it that is. Please review!

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Sometimes Heero Yuy had trouble feeling the way he felt. He strived to live by Odin Lowe's advice and then his conditioning training slammed full force into his mind. He still remembered Dekim Barton's voice barking in his ear about how weapons didn't need emotions. He had been thirteen and he had murdered a little girl, her dog and her entire apartment building. Dr. J's daughter had come to him soon after Dekim had left; she had wrapped her arms around him and calmed his young boy soul. Heero had been the only surviving pilot 'lucky' enough to work close to Dekim, the others had been found too late; Heero had been found when he was nine.

He remembered Dekim's words repeating themselves over and over in his head and then he remembered huddling in the corner of his small sterile, barrack-like room rocking with his hands over his ears. He remembered Hiroko's cat-like steps on the linoleum and the awkward shuffle of J following soon after.

"You mustn't worry Heero-san." She had said in that gentle way of hers, "Otousama isn't going to listen to that awful man. You mustn't worry."

What Hiroko and J didn't know was that late in the night, Dekim would steel into his room and spirit him away. He was put in a twelve-by-twelve white cold room and Trowa Barton and Dekim Barton would 'train' him to be the weapon, the perfect weapon, the perfect soldier. He remembered watching an ancient film of the WWII concentration camps. He remembered seeing the children, mothers, fathers and grandparents. The were emancipated like skeletons, injured and sick and every time he winced or made a sound of distress a long whip would come streaking from the sky and land with a loud, painful _thwap!_ on his back. He didn't like to think of the other times and the other films. WWII was among the worst and as such he was shown the most often; so much so that he couldn't help remembering.

From then on Heero would slip into a world of pretend a world where he was Dekim Barton's perfect soldier. A world where he didn't feel. But under the surface Odin's voice constantly reminded him and under the surface he struggled with the emotions. It was just a shield, just a shield like Duo's smiles and Trowa's silence and Quatre's Maganaucs and Wufei's justice.

The door to the dorm opened and Heero looked up with a start hand reaching for the gun under his pillow. Duo entered followed by the heavy scent of cigarette smoke and the faint scent of alcohol.

"You shouldn't smoke," Heero said.

"You shouldn't stare at that damn screen sixteen hours a day," Duo retorted, flopping back on his bed. The room lapsed in silence only broken by the clack of the keys and the shuffle of paper from Duo doing his homework.

"Melanie was asking about you today," Duo said eventually. Melanie was his lab partner for Chemistry last semester.

"Why?" Heero looked up puzzled.

Duo chuckled, "She wondered if you were still at school. I say Heero man, at first I thought that attitude of yours would make you stick out like a sore thumb but you seem to disappear into the shadows almost as well as me in my buddy."

"Silence has his advantages." Heero replied, "People don't tend to notice the shy kid in school."

"You're shy?" Duo asked. Heero looked away. _I'm just weird. Weird and quiet, no one notices._

Heero looked at the clock and frowned. He had a suspicion sleep wouldn't come to him tonight. He stood up after turning his laptop off and slipped on his shoes placed neatly by the door. Duo always wondered why he always slipped off his shoes before entering a residence. He had answered by telling him he grew up on L1. Duo didn't get it.

"Where are you going?" Duo asked as Heero moved to open the door.

"Stables." One of the advantages of the private schools the scientists had them hiding out in was the stables. They had always proved as an escape to Heero even as a child. He had learned to ride almost as soon as J had found him in order to be able to blend into any social situation. He had also learned all manners of dance and other 'leisure' activities people chose to do. The boarding schools were usually close to the military bases so the children were close to their parents and so the schools were protected from any terrorist attacks. _It's a good thing Trowa got killed. He was much too old._ Heero shuddered at remembering the young man. He had been eighteen the year before Operation Meteor was to be launched he never would have blended in well in the high schools. He was brazen and loud mouthed, pushy and violent and just... creepy. Heero hated him the moment the then fifteen year old Trowa Barton had walked into the small nine year old's room behind his grandfather who would have been an attractive man if he hadn't been so cruel. Even though before that point Heero felt it was wrong to harbour such strong emotions as hate.

Odin had always told him that 'hate' was an awfully strong word for such a little boy to use. He had said that people should never hate, because hate was just fear in disguise and fear caused conflict which bred pain and pain bred more hate and that hate was just more fear and the cycle continued until it made you dizzy.

Heero remembered getting dizzy when he was little. There was a bumble bee flying around and around his head and it wouldn't sit still long enough for him to look at so he remembered spinning with the bee until he fell on his bottom and the bee flew off. Suffice to say Heero didn't like getting dizzy. Odin had chuckled gently and helped the child up before they continued on their way. Just father and son on the park on a warm summer day following around the ambassador for MO-II who was out with his own children, plotting the best way to assassinate the ambassador while he made his speech to the Winners of L4. Heero chuckled as he remembered Quatre being a little brat through the entire speech. Thankfully the little blond had been removed before Odin took his first and only shot.

Heero patted a tall chestnut Arabian, running his hand threw its darker mane. The gelding snuffled and pressed into his hand. Heero let him out and tethered him to brush him down before saddling him up. Red was his name he was one of the smaller horses which suited Heero well because even he had trouble getting on the taller horses.

He led Red from the stable before climbing on and steering him around in a light canter. His body moved rhythmically with the great beast below and he picked the pace up slightly until he was at a slow trot. Red, though small, jumped beautifully and moved easily around the obstacle course.

"You're good at that." A tall man said from the fence dressed in faded jeans and a sweater"What's your name"

"Heero Yuy. I'm in your first period equestrian class," he answered walking the horse over to the teacher so he wouldn't have to shout across the grass.

"You are? Yuy you say? Odd," the teacher frowned.

"Is there anything you wanted?" Heero asked politely just as he had been taught when addressing authority figures.

"No, no. Carry on," the teacher said, still looking at him trying to place his face. Heero did just that and urged the horse into a gallop he moved through the gate in the fence which he had left open and rode across the lawn. He let the rhythm of the animal sooth him and tried not to feel what his body was telling him to when even a teacher didn't know him. _Who do I listen to? Odin? J? God forbid, Dekim?_ It was the same as he had felt when he had saved Relena's life when the school threatened to tumble down upon her. He didn't know why he hadn't killed her. Even Odin would know to kill her, she was a liability.

_Giggle. Mary out for a walk. Eyes cut from the sky and soft red hair. Giggle. White dress swirling around scraped knees sporting novelty band-aids. Little girl innocence. Little girl grace. A yellow flower. A golden puppy. Giggle._

An image of Relena was superimposed over the little girl. A Relena with all her little girl innocence her white dress and her unknown big brother protecting her. A little girl Relena who was nice to him. Oh yes. Heero Yuy knew who Zechs Marquise really was. Heero Yuy knew because Doctor J knew.

"Is that why...?" he asked himself. Heero shook his head and concentrated on the motion of the animal. By now a thin sheen of sweat was covering his face, the night breeze caused by the gallop cooling it almost instantly and sending a sharp chill shattering through Heero's body. He pulled Red up short, the animal protesting slightly before settling pawing lightly at the ground. The breeze picked up and Heero noticed the thunder rapidly coming closer. A flash of lightening bright against the horizon brought him back to himself and he looked behind him where the castle like school stood ominous in the distance. He would never make it back before the storm broke. Red was breathing heavily beneath him and Heero slid from the horse's back patting his neck and resting his head against the horse in silent apology for the rough riding. Red turned towards him and snuffled curiously at his hair before bending and eating the grass. Heero waited a bit before picking up the reigns and walking them both back to the school. He would ride again in a moment once Red had a chance to rest a bit.

xx

Duo sat on the window sill, looking out at the lightening and storm clouds. A few drops of rain began their pitter-patter dance against the roof. Duo had come to the understanding that he did not understand Heero Yuy. He probably would never understand Heero Yuy.

"Enigma," Duo tried and found it was as good a word as any. He chuckled when he realized that was the first time he had actually used the word enigma. Not so much in a sentence by he had used it.

"Heero Yuy is a big fucking enigma." There, now it was used in a sentence. Duo sighed and rolled unceremoniously off the window and onto the floor. He stared at the ceiling trying to let the stark whiteness of it settle his mind. It didn't work. Duo rolled on his stomach and stared at the rug, it itched against his belly where his shirt had ridden up. With a huff Duo pushed himself to his feet and flopped on his bed.

"Damnit Heero!" Duo cursed, "Where they hell are you?" He really didn't understand why he was so worried. It was just a little rain; if a fifty storey drop only gave him a broken leg then a little rain wouldn't hurt.

Duo knew he was a little peculiar; hell, you had to be in this gig. But to be worried about an unfeeling bastard was a lot peculiar. _But is he really unfeeling?_ Sometimes, just sometimes, when Duo looked really hard he noticed it. He noticed an insurmountable amount of feeling shimmering in blue eyes the colour of the ocean. Duo supposed he hadn't really known Heero long enough to make any judgements. It was only by some weird coincidence that they had happened to be roommates at the school. Even though it made sense. The base, after all was only a few miles away and it was certainly more than a one man job, even if that one man was a Gundam pilot. The door creaked and Duo jumped looking over the sopping wet Heero Yuy who looked worn and down trodden. He also looked like a soggy kitten. _Cute_.

"Sup 'Ro?" Duo asked indifferently even though silently he was hopping that Heero was okay.

"It's nothing. Goodnight Duo," Heero dismissed walking to their small washroom and shutting the door behind him. The lock slid in the door knob with a click.

"Heero Yuy is a big fucking Enigma," Duo repeated and flicked off his bedside lamp, settling under the covers.

XX

The Peacemillion hanger was deserted save for two figures standing shoulder to shoulder in the shadow of the enormous machines known as Gundams.

"It's actually over," Duo mused.

"For now," Heero replied quietly.

"We won," Duo grinned.

Heero looked away bitterly, "No one won. Wars aren't to be won, wars are to be fought and finished. No one ever wins."

"Lots of words for such a little guy," Duo teased.

"Urasai," Heero whispered turning and walking away. He should have learned by now that he shouldn't open his mouth. Speaking only got him in trouble.

"Heero! Hey! It was just a joke! Come on man." Duo chased after the other boy, grasping his shoulder and spinning him around, "What's up with you?"

Heero closed his eyes and took a breath, "Leave me alone Duo. For once, just leave me alone." Duo removed his hand and let it hover about Heero's shoulder, not sure what to do or how to respond. Heero glared than walked away.

Duo brought his hand down and clenched both in a tight fist, "Well fuck you too!"

xx

Heero walked at a clipped pace, his hands shoved deep in the pocket of the jacket he had been given to ward off space's chill. He stared at the metal floor, brow furrowed in contemplation. What was to happen now? Would he ever see any of the others again? Would he ever see... Duo again?

"Heero," came Quatre's questioning voice from behind. Heero turned and looked at the blond whose shoulder was bandaged tight against his side. He was dressed in nothing more than a hospital gown and robe.

"Quatre? You should be resting," Heero said and moved to walk Quatre back to his room in the medical bay.

"I couldn't rest any longer. You know how it is." Quatre said with a smile, "Gundam pilots aren't meant to stay still."

"We aren't Gundam Pilots any longer," Heero said, staring at an unknown point down the hall.

"Oh?" Quatre invited.

"In a way I'm relieved." Heero said, "I never wanted to fight. I've just always been a fighter I suppose. Killing is dirty and... hateful."

"You have a gentle soul Heero." Quatre said, moving closer, "More gentle than I at times. Much more as a matter of fact. I have always wanted to fight. I have always been full of hate and spite."

Heero smiled, looking down, "I remember."

Quatre blinked, "You what?"

"I was an unexpected guest at the meeting with the MO-II ambassador," Heero said and walked away not letting Quatre finish. He knew it was rude but Quatre needed his rest and Heero needed to be alone. _I'm not Heero anymore. I can't be Heero. Heero was chosen for me to be someone I'm not._ He supposed he could go back to his birth name if he could ever remember what it was. He faintly recalled it said to him by a gentle male voice after a bout of harsh nightmares in his star strewn room back in lower L1 where he assumed he had been born. _Hush now **Hiroshi-kun** Papa's here._ Heero's steps faltered.

"Hiroshi?" he shook his head and continued on. Perhaps he could be Hiro after all. He had been Heero for so long he supposed it was for the best. Heero turned at the end of the corridor and walked down it until he was in the shuttle bay. It was on the opposite side from the mobile suit hanger in case an invasion was to occur at that point so the personnel could evacuate. He walked along the room and stopped before a small two man shuttle. He couldn't stay here any longer.

"I knew you'd end up here sooner or later." Duo's voice came from the shadows, "Certainly took the scenic root didn't you"

"Quatre caught me in the corridor," Heero explained prepping the shuttle for flight. There wasn't really much to do since they were set to take off at a moments notice.

"Heero," Duo said tentatively, coming out of the shadows"I... er... happy birthday."

Heero took the box thrust towards him unceremoniously with a small measure of surprise; he ran his fingers across the silver wrapping paper with blue ribbon looking up.

"How did you...?"

Duo shrugged, "Read it in your school file, December 31. Welcome to fifteen, gonna be leaving you behind soon."

"February second," Heero nodded.

"Weird huh? I'm almost a full year older than you," Duo grinned.

"Happy New Year Duo. Perhaps I'll see you again. Thank you, for the gift" Heero said, climbing into his shuttle.

"Hey! Aren't you gonna open it?" Duo called over the roar of the engines. The hatch shut before Heero answered and Duo quickly got out of its way.

Duo chuckled shaking his head, "Heero Yuy is a big fucking enigma." Duo realized he should really get another word. Enigma wasn't so special any longer.

"Queer," Duo snorted at the colloquial meaning of that one and realized that no, that didn't fit.

Duo grinned, "Conundrum." Duo whistled to himself as he walked out of the shuttle bay.

xx

Heero closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the pilot's seat. He cracked one open and looked to his left half expecting to see a merry braided boy next to him diligently piloting the shuttle like it was the most natural thing in the world. Even Heero had to admit that Duo was an amazing pilot. It felt... odd to be here without him and Heero found he couldn't rest peacefully. He sat forward again and stared at the control panel, then over to the seat where the silver wrapped package sat quietly. His fingers itched to reach for it. Heero caved and picked up the present. Carefully removing the paper he found a white teddy bear with blue eyes and blue ribbon sitting in a box surrounded by tissue. Picking it up he noticed the angel wings on its back; a note slipped to his lap.

_I know I know, kind of childish, but sometimes_

_you look like you could use one._

_Happy Birthday Heero, may many more follow._

_- DM_

Heero found himself smiling and he tucked the box and wrapping away so it wouldn't get thrown about. He brushed the bear's soft white fur before putting it in the co-pilot's seat and bringing the harness around it.

"Only you could get away with something like that Maxwell," Heero whispered to himself and settled in for the long shuttle ride back.

xx

A month and two days later Duo Maxwell opened his apartment door on L2 to see a young message boy holding a brown paper wrapped parcel.

"Duo Maxwell?" the boy asked.

"That's me," Duo grinned. The boy smiled at the young man's easy attitude and handed the package over.

"Do I owe you anything?" Duo asked.

The boy shook his head, "It's been taken care of. Tah!" The boy waved and walked back down the hall.

Duo didn't know if February second was his actual birthday and found it funny considering. 02 was born on 02-02. He always went by what other people had told him. If Sister Helen had woken him up one morning and handed him a cupcake and said 'happy birthday' so be it. It was his birthday. He had dragged that cupcake out as long as it would go. He managed for it to last nearly a week and a half. It wasn't often sweets were given around Maxwell church. Christmas, birthdays, and Halloween if anyone was kind enough to give a bunch of ragtag orphans candy. As such Duo had never really developed a sweet tooth. Duo opened the parcel to see silver paper with a purple ribbon beneath. He smiled and set the package on the low glass and black chrome coffee table next to the flowers from Hilde. She was always complaining that his apartment needed to be more cheery. So she had bought the brightest flowers she could find and a small cake for his birthday. Thankfully it was strawberry crème, not too sweet and not too heavy.

Quatre had sent him a card and a cheque. He had also written a note apologizing for the standard issue gift but really hadn't known what he needed or wanted. He got a beauty of a knife from Trowa who had said his sister picked it out; Duo had to laugh at that one. Wufei had sent him Chinese meditation balls. They chimed when you rolled them around in your hand and were intricately decorated in violet, blue, gold and black. Duo found himself using them more than once when the rookies at the salvage yard got on his nerves a little too much.

Duo though was determined to wait to open Heero's gift. Heero hadn't opened his right away, as far as Duo knew and Duo would wait as well. Even though he was curious as to what the 'perfect soldier' had sent him. Probably a manual on cleaning his gun or something. Duo still couldn't figure the great conundrum that was Heero Yuy out.

Duo puttered around in the kitchen for a moment, his attention somehow kept being drawn to the innocent package on the table. He put his dishtowel down and picked the package up, tearing at the paper. He opened it and stared in awe, it was a 1920s recreation pilot's hat made of soft brown leather complete with a set of goggles.

_Ad astra Duo. Thank you for _

_keeping me safe._

_- HY_

Duo had to grin.

xx

Heero unwittingly had found himself on Duo Maxwell's doorstep in the midst of a winter rain storm. The icy pellets beat down on his thin coat meant for the currently warmer weather of L1. He had at last recognized what he felt for the braided pilot and was surprised to say the least. So he had taken the advice of his long since gone guardian and followed his emotions. His emotions had led him to L2 in the midst of a winter rain storm.

Heero reached out a cold finger and rang the doorbell. He heard the faint buzz of it inside and the soft barely there footsteps behind the panel.

"Heero?" Duo blinked, "What are you...? Come in," Heero walked in and the first thing he noticed was his present to Duo sitting on a shelf under a glass case, he smiled. The next thing he noticed was how drab and clean the apartment was. It looked like it was hardly lived in, not at all what he would expect from Duo Maxwell.

"Would you like to stay with me?" Duo blurted.

"I didn't want to impose..." Heero faltered.

"If you were going to impose I wouldn't have asked," Duo said, taking the duffle from Heero's semi-slack hand and moving to carry it to the spare bedroom.

"Wait!" Heero called after him. He jogged after Duo and took the bag back from the braided young man who had somehow gained a few inches on him; he had never noticed before. Heero carefully unzipped his duffle and pulled out a pristine white bear that Duo recognized all too well. He placed it in the centre of the bed and nodded.

"I... thank you," Heero gestured to the bear or the room, Duo couldn't be sure.

"No problem Heero man." Duo waved it off, "We're friends, yeah? Would you like something to drink?" Duo was already on his way to the kitchen when Heero surprised himself and the other by reaching out and taking his hand halting him.

"I figured it out Duo," Heero said.

"What?" Duo asked puzzled but making no move to pull his hand free.

"We've worked close this past year... and I never thought I would... but I did and..." Heero frowned, "I don't like words."

"I've noticed." Duo said very softly and gently, "Don't worry about the words Heero just show me all right?"

"Are you certain?" Heero asked finding himself clearly not.

"We're friends," Duo repeated. Heero nodded took a breath then moved closer to Duo resting a hand lightly on the other boy's chest and rising slightly on his toes. Slowly his lips came close to Duo's and Duo ever perceptive got the hint.

"When did you figure this out?" Duo whispered softly putting his hand on Heero's slender waist and moving even closer.

"Ten hours ago," Heero whispered back.

"Certainly took the scenic root didn't you?" Duo grinned closing the distance between them.

"No, express actually..." Heero whispered just before soft lips brushed his own. The kiss wasgentle and delicate the slow movement of soft lips against soft lips and then they pulled away.

"L1 has never been closer to L2," Heero finished.

Duo leaned forward again and grinned,"Wanna bet? 2 to 1 odds." And this time the kiss wasn't so soft and delicate as Duo proceeded to win by a landslide.

The End

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Please review!


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